Table of Contents

INTRODUCTION TO THIS NEW EDITION WHAT HAPPENS TO MEN WHEN THEIR MATES DIE GEORGE: The First Few Months Dealing with anger and disbelief, with the lack of carnal comfort and with inept expressions of sympathy SAM AND JIM: Relying on Religion and Work The values and dangers of familiar structures JAN: A Murder in the Family The strength of the tribe and of solitude, coping with the children's loss, and making a quick reliance HANK: When a Wife Takes Her Own Life Coming to grips with suicide through a replacement wife as grieving agent MARK: Widowed Under Thirty Generational differences, and the danger of escaping depression by making a quick recommitment RANDY: Turning to the Bottle Bereavement as a catalyst for self destruction and resurrection KARL: Finding New Friends Turning to people outside your circle and finding you have something new to offer JAKE, FRAN, MIKE, AND JERRY: Keeping Company A Transcript of a bereavement group BILL: When Your Wife is Your Whole Life In the process of re-peopling your life, sometimes a psychiatrist can help JOE: Married for Life, and Longer Living in the past even when you're active in the present GORDON: Ambivalence in Bereavement The Complications of grieving a wife who slowly destroyed herself can inhibit efforts to start a new life MURRAY: Anticipatory Grief The incremental mourning of long-term illness, the difficulty of talking about it, and finally taking advantage of new freedoms DEREK: Assisted Suicide The special challenge of sharing responsibility for a wife's death ROGER: A Transformation of Values In seeking the wisdom of other widowers, finding new wisdom in one's self LOU: Enjoying Life After Death Learning to be happy again, alone but not lonely, without feeling guilty PETER: The Ultimate Transcendence Overcoming the limitations of society and of the self to grow into a new kind of man?€”developmentally, psychologically, emotionally, and spiritually WHEN MEN ARE LEFT ALONE SELF-HELP ORGANIZATIONS AND READINGS