Table of Contents
A Note to Memoirists . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1
Introduction . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .3
Things You Need to Know About Memoir . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .5
The Three Stages of Memoir Writing . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .6
What is a Memoir and Why Write One? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 8
Who's Your Audience? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 11
Scenes: Building Blocks for Your Story . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .13
Why You Need to Write Scenes . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .13
Stage One: Kick-Starting Your Memoir . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 15
Turning Points . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .15
Themes . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .18
Messy First Chapters . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 22
How Much Truth to Tell: The Memoirist's Dilemma . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 23
Mining Your Memories . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 25
Creating Your Memory Lists . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 26
Your Timeline . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 28
Making Your Timeline Exercise Work for You . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 30
Emotional Takeaway and Setting . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .33
Freewriting, Outlining, and Character Sketching . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .37
Freewriting . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .37
Outlining . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .45
Character Sketching . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 51
End of Stage One . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 63
Stage Two: The Muddy Middle . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .65
The Critical Voices . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .67
The Nasty Inner Critic . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 68
The Nice Inner Critic . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .72
Outer Critics: Worries about Family and Truth . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .74
Your Healing Story . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .76
Writing to Heal Trauma . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .76
A Sacred, Safe Space to Create . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .81
Dead or Alive, Truth or Lie . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 82
Secrets, Lies, and Shame . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 83
Affirmations—Antidotes to the Inner Critic . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 89
Truth and Memory . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 90
Procrastination and Time Bandits . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 99
Scheduling Your Writing Time . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 99
Plot and Structure . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .104
Working with Your Narrative Arc . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .106
Time in Memoir Writing . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 110
End of the Muddy Middle . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 116
Stage Three: Birthing Your Book . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 117
Revision . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 118
Improving Characterization . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 118
Legal and Ethical Issues in Your Memoir as You Get Ready
for Publication . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .120
Changing Names to Protect the Innocent and the Guilty . . . . . . . . . . . .120
Disclaimers . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .120
People in Your Book—Inform Them or Ask Permission? . . . . . . . . . . . .122
More Legal Terms: Public Disclosure of Private Facts and Libel . . . . .125
Peer Readers . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .126
Types of Editing . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .127
Choosing an Editor . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .128
Platform . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .128
Blog/Website . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .129
Social Media—an Always Shifting World . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 131
Three Paths to Publishing . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .137
Publishing in Large Publishing Houses . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .137
Publishing with Small Publishers . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .145
Self-Publishing with Your Own Publishing Company . . . . . . . . . . . . . .145
Self-Publishing with Self-Publishing Companies . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .146
Your Book Out in the World . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 147
Blog Tours . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .147
Social Media Marketing . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .149
Bookstores . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .148
Speaking Engagements . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 151
Oh, and Have Fun, Too! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .153
The End of Stage Three . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 153
Writing Inspirations: The Arc of Your Life . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .155
Births and Deaths . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .156
Early Childhood and Family . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .160
Roots and Legacies . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .164
Fathers and Mothers . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .168
House and Landscape as Mirrors of Soul . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .172
Love, Marriage, and Children . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .178
Seasons . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 180
Holidays . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 184
Legacies and Reflections . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 188
Forgiveness . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .192
Gratitude . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .196
Appendix . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .201
About the Author . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 205
Linda Joy Myers is founder and president of the National Association of Memoir Writers (namw.org) and co-president of the Women's National Book Association, San Francisco. A national memoir speaker and coach, she's ;the author of The Power of Memoir—How to Write Your Healing Story. She co-teaches the program Write your Memoir in Six Months with Brooke Warner, and offers teleseminars and workshops nationally. ;
“Memoir guru Linda Joy Myers packs a lot into this useful manual.
This is more than a workbook full of exercises and prompts—it’s a
guide from a veteran who understands the complexity of the memoir
journey. If you’re writing a memoir, this workbook will become your
new best friend.”
—Brooke Warner, author of What’s Your Book?
“This helpful workbook is crammed with practical advice,
thought-provoking questions, resources, and space to jot down
ideas. Linda Joy Myers has created a toolkit any writer can use to
successfully write, refine, and publish a memoir. I only wish I’d
had it when I was writing mine.”
—Eleanor Vincent, author of Swimming with Maya: A Mother’s
Story
“Myers has written the definitive guide on how to transform your
life journey into a powerful, well-structured, memorable story that
will touch readers. For the beginner or the seasoned writer,
Journey of Memoir is destined to become a classic.”
—Jordan E. Rosenfeld, author of Make a Scene: Crafting a Powerful
Story One Scene at a Time
“It’s about time someone wrote a real guide for memoirists of all
levels. A must-read for anyone who has ever wanted to write their
life story but didn’t know where to begin. Concise, simple, and
highly effective.”
—Oksana Marafioti, author of American Gypsy
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