OLLY POSTANIN and JACOB ARDOWN are the deadliest players to ever tickle twine. After years of dominating the Bangladesh Pro League and the Virgin Islands Elite League (respectively), they returned to Canada to share their unparalleled knowledge and skills in the hope that one day there would be enough competition for them to really light it up. They are currently holding out for the greasiest conny (contract) to ever be signed.
GLOBE AND MAIL BESTSELLER
“Weapons!”
—Ryan O’Reilly, St. Louis Blues
“It’s hard to accurately convey the impact Olly and Jacob have made
on the Wild organization. In one short visit, they erased years of
progress and left a hole we are still trying to climb out of.
Strangely, we still love the boys and wish them the best (just not
here in the State of Hockey).”
—Matt Majka, President, Minnesota Wild
“The Kings were one of the first teams to reach out to the
boys. We thought we saw something unique and intriguing, and
assuming they had talent, we felt our players could pick up a few
tips. Sadly, that was a mistake. But our players did enjoy showing
the boys how to take a hit!”
—Michael Altieri, Sr. Vice President, Marketing, Communications,
and Content, LA Kings
“Being the #1 Draft Pick this year was awesome—but getting pointers
from Olly and Jacob was even cooler ….hope their coaching doesn’t
get me kicked out of the league!”
—Jack Hughes, #1 NHL Draft Pick 2019, New Jersey Devils
“These quirky characters crashed our 75/25 Anniversary Legends Gala
held at historic Maple Leaf Gardens in Toronto. Apparently, they
consider themselves “legends,” but we had never heard of them.
After a short ruckus, the Canadian Mounties (on hand to guard the
Stanley Cup) escorted them out of the building.”
—Jeff Denomme, President and CEO, Hockey Hall of Fame
“I was able to teach these rookies a few tricks, but they’re still
a long way from a career in the NHL—in fact I’m not sure I’d even
let them off the bench, but I applaud their passion.”
—Jeremy “J.R.” Roenick, 20 year NHL season career veteran, NBC and
NHL Network Sports Analyst, Author
“Olly and Jacob keep hounding me and Petey [Elias Pettersson] to do
a 2v2 chally, but we all know that will just end up in
embarrassment for the boys.”
—Brock Boeser, Vancouver Canucks
“I thought I knew a lot about hockey until I met the boys in
Airdrie last summer. They told me I didn’t know how to coach. It
turns out they were right. I wasn’t paying enough attention to the
fundies.”
—Pavel Barber, Stickhandling Specialist
“Didn’t know what to expect when I first met these two wagons. But
glad I did, Jacob taught me a new way to score from the blue, I
don’t know what Olly did…”
—Matt Dumba, Minnesota Wild
“Two future Hall of Famers.”
—Elias Pettersson, Vancouver Canucks
“Twenty-five years covering hockey, I’m not sure I’ve covered two
bigger locker-room misfits. But they [give] pretty good quotes and
are kinda funny, so I’ve learned to tolerate them.”
—Michael Russo, The Athletic
“They do a yeoman’s job teaching the fundies!”
—Tom Reid, Retired NHL Defenceman and Sports Broadcaster
“Those boys don’t know jack about professional hockey—but it was
sure fun showing them how to check!”
—Kyle Clifford, LA Kings
“As a premiere performance hockey brand, CCM prides itself on its
R&D team with some of the best players in the world—McDavid,
Crosby, Ovechkin, Price. Olly and Jacob are definitely not on our
R&D team, and we’d rather they not use our stuff, even if they
aren’t making it off the bench. It’s just not a good look.”
—Rick Blackshaw, CEO, CCM Hockey
“The kids that attend our tournaments love the boys, so we brought
them in to have some fun. Unfortunately our liability insurance
rates doubled, but our hockey IQ tripled. Good
trade-off.”
—Kevin Mann, President and CEO, 200x85 LLC (CCM World
Invites)
“I've been reading The Fundies and I feel my game
has already improved by a factor of at least 75 percent due to
their insightful tips.” —Adam Shoalts, author of Beyond
the Trees, A History of Canada in Ten Maps, and Alone Against the
North
"If you do not know [Olly and Jacob], then you are seriously
missing out on unbelievable hockey content"
—Ultimate Hockey Fan Cave Blog
“[T]his hilarious book on hockey fundamentals, or ‘fundies’, will
make hockey fans laugh long and hard.”
—The Guy Who Reviews Sports Books
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